I do recognize that this post may be an excuse to procrastinate what I should be doing. 
I currently have one of the best callings at church.....teaching Relief Society ONCE a month. Recently I have really started to ponder why it is that I really enjoy this calling. My first thought is that it is because it is only ONCE a month....not every Sunday...not every other week...yes only ONCE a month. As I prepare and plan my lessons I start to question why I enjoy this calling. The nerves of teaching never go away no matter how many times I have taught. I tell my Public Speaking students that the nerves are a good thing but I think I am fooling myself. LOL :) This week I was asked to speak in Sacrament. Note: Not on my list of favorite things to do. I may teach Public Speaking but it does not mean that I enjoy it or feel like I do it well. Well it seems that it is not just coincidence anymore that every lesson or talk topic assignment is something I feel I am truly not the best example at or do well. So here is where my most recent pondering has come to a bit of a conclusion/realization..... I am not normally the type of person to study or ponder scripture or spiritual readings at my own personal will. I can always find something else I would rather be doing versus reading of any sort. But with my calling, it makes me do this and I feel that my life is blessed for it. Even though I have feelings of inferiority about certain gospel principles, I LOVE how much I learn when given the assignment to teach or speak about certain things. I love what the sisters teach me. I love that when I ask for the Spirit to be with me, it is.
So for the last week I have had a Word document open on my computer with the conference article that I have been asked to speak on this Sunday. I have read it more than once, twice,.....lets just say multiple times and written a few notes but overall feel like I have NOTHING to add. Some continual thoughts throughout the week have been, "Really, they want me to speak on this? Really? Why? Why? Poor sisters have to listen to me more than once this month. What can I offer, add, etc? Does it take a speaking assignment AGAIN to bring to my attention things I need to work on? For once can it be something I am strong in or good at? Oh wait, really Jessica is there anything you feel you don't need to work on or improve? Um, do you not remember the lesson you taught in RS? Okay, okay stop procrastinating. Start going through the scriptures and pile of church books you think you should study and GET ON YOUR KNEES, lady. Is it really the end of the week and I have no idea what I am going to say?"
This is just a little inkling of the voices in my head :) I guess it could be worse, right?
4 comments:
you will be awesome. you always are. you always say exactly what i need. Can I ask what topic? Is it a surprise?
Bryn, You are so sweet. The topic is Elder Bednar's "More Diligent and Concerned at Home"
I used to teach TFOT in RS. It was way hard for me. Sometimes it felt like a complete injustice to not just read the talk because they are always said just right. Do you remember Sis. Murdock from years ago? I don't remember much from Sacrament meetings but I do remember a talk she gave on procrastination. She stood up, said, "I have been asked to give a talk on Procrastinating. I did, you shouldn't." Then she sat down. lol Every time I have to speak I wish I had the nerve to give her talk ;)
Fantastic talk! You did a great job, and i really enjoyed hearing all you had to say. Thanks
Post a Comment